Jay’s Blog – Disputing the Devil
If you have more than one child, you probably have that one. Although, as a parent, you love each of your children deeply and equally. There often seems to be one, however, that consumes your energy and maybe a little extra prayer. For us, it’s our middle child. Frequent readers of this blog will know that I have three girls, all in their 20s, all of whom went all the way through Grace from junior kindergarten through graduation. You also may have read that my middle child was involved in a rollover car accident 17 months ago. She suffered what we’ve now learned was a head injury, undiagnosed at the time, but which has caused her all sorts of problems since then. These have included debilitating migraines at least three times a week and a host of other symptoms that, thanks to good medical care, have improved, but not resolved.
As some of you know, the worst kind of pain, worse than your own physical pain, is watching your children suffer. This is nothing new for my middle, however. We have been battling the devil over this one her whole life. When she was only two or so, she declared to her mother, “Mommies don’t love middle children.” We had never even told her what a middle child was; she had really just learned to speak. Although we were completely befuddled by it then, we know now it was a demonic lie whispered in her ear that we had to pray and battle away.
My wife and I both remember waking in the night, feeling uneasy, and walking into her room, only to confront the presence of evil, sometimes manifested in shadowy figures over her, on more than one occasion. We had to pray those away, asking Jesus to drive them from her in His Name. He was always faithful to do that, always protected her.
When she was a child, she had terrible dreams, so terrible that we had Christian professionals meet with her to try to diagnose and figure out what was happening. They had no earthly answers, but we knew. We wrestled in prayer with our enemy for him to leave her alone, and our Lord built protection around her.
When she was a sophomore in high school, mono took her out of school for six months, a whole semester. We did remote learning before it was cool. The first semester of her senior year, a mysterious ailment resembling a stomach virus attacked her the whole first semester of her senior year. She couldn’t keep anything down for three months. Again, we prayed, asking God to take it away, knowing that when we had no answers, He was the only answer we needed. Eventually, she recovered.
I believe deep in my heart back on that day in April 2023, on that rainy, East Texas road, Satan tried to take her from us, tried to kill her. But, God, as he’s done time and time again, miraculously pulled her free and gave her back to us.
In so many ways, this one is my “Jude 1:9” baby. Last week, I talked about this passage of Scripture, where the archangel Michael contends with Satan over the body of Moses. In so many ways, I feel as though I’ve contended with the devil over this child her entire life.
The other day, I was reflecting on the course of her life, and what feels to me like a lifelong battle. I was thinking that, if someone offered me a chance to give up my life to free her from ever doing battle with the devil again, I would take that chance without hesitation, no questions asked, immediately. Even if they said it was going to be painful, even excruciatingly so. I would do it. That’s how wide and how deep and how high my love is for her. I know, if you were in my shoes, you’d take that same bet, wouldn’t you?
In that moment, God showed me the obvious parallel- how much he loves us. He loves us with a heart that’s nearly desperate in its passion and its depth, a heart that sprints down the road to come to us, dignity aside. A heart that, when given the decision to give up himself, the essence of his being through his Son, took it immediately, without hesitation. Jesus was nobody’s scapegoat or pawn. He has the Fatherheart of God, the Fatherheart God has given me and you for our own kids in their pain, to teach us how deeply he loves, to show us how much he’s willing to give and how far he’ll go. Why don’t we always surrender? Who else loves us like that?
I wish all of you could know my middle. If you do, I don’t think you’d think I was just being a proud dad when I say she’s smart, wickedly funny, wise beyond her years, and beautiful. Most importantly, she loves Jesus, and she’s stubborn, and tough, and resilient. Years ago, I believed that she was set aside for something special. In my immature, prosperity-fueled imaginings, I believed that meant to be a leader of people, or a speaker or writer or something. I now don’t know that it means any of those things, but I do know that he made her the way he did to shine his glory through her, and to show the world his strength through her struggles, and he does that magnificently.
My middle is a warrior for Jesus, a wonder to behold. I am in awe of who she’s become after what she’s endured, not in spite of it but because of it. There’s no way she would have become who she is without learning who she is from our school, and, knowing what we know now, that was the best money we ever spent as a family. That’s true for all my girls and who they’ve become.
As you read this, you may be feeling sorry for me, or for her. Empathy is great, compassion, yes. Prayers, please and please. Thank you. But, don’t pity. Instead, rejoice. We all want so badly to keep our kids from suffering and pain, to indulge that protective instinct we have to its fullest extent. But, if we’re not in pain of some sort, in all likelihood, we’re not growing. And, the point of this life is to grow and become something more than we are.
I know I don’t look like it at all, but I work out with weights three times a week. This means, if I’m doing it correctly, some part of me is pretty much sore, in some degree of pain, all the time. If I just go up to the gym and move some light weight around and go through the motions, I’m not doing myself any good. I’m just wasting time, and hanging out in the gym is a bad hobby.
There’s not a time when we get to the point in this life when challenge and pain don’t come, and that’s the whole point. In those rare moments when things are pain-free, enjoy them, but realize they’re not normal. When you face challenge and struggle again, God has not forgotten you. He’s not doing you dirty. He’s saying, “Okay, we took a little rest here. Now let’s keep growing into everything I made you to be.” God’s love persists in your mediocrity, and he loves you just the same when you’re there, but that’s never his desire or plan or intent for you. And, challenge and pain is the way we hit the gym.
If you are in Christ Jesus, God has won the victory over your life from the enemy through Jesus’ blood. You are no longer the devil’s. But, he will vex you and your children, tempt you and harass you, until the day you die. And your great honor and privilege is to do battle with him over the bodies and minds and spirits of your children, and yourselves, every day. You have everything you need in Jesus name and by the power of God’s Spirit for victory. So, get to work.